Now that we’re just over 3 months away I’m feeling pressured to Do All The Things! (all at once!) I have fabric to find (and likely dye) for the waistband of my dress, find ribbon that’s the right color for all the ribbony things, and find shoes to wear with my dress. I’m suddenly finding myself frustrated both at the world and at myself for not being able to find the right colors of things. Our wedding color is indigo, that blue/purple that changes depending on the light. I can find blue, I can find purple, but not indigo. It’s maddening. Fortunately, one of my aunts is great with dyeing fabrics, so I’ll likely just ask her to dye stuff for me, but I’m starting to feel like one of those crazy people who wants things Just So. 

The shoes are an even more frustrating dilemma. I keep threatening to just get married barefoot, but the actual ceremony space is paved with brick, and my feet won’t be callused enough by mid-June to deal with sun-heated brick if it’s warm out, and I’m not in love with the idea of walking through parking lots barefoot. I’m 5’10”, my dress reaches the floor when I’m barefoot, and I’m loath to add much in the way of height to myself because it’s a wedding gown, not a wedding tea-length-dress dammit. Also, we’re getting married in a garden, and I don’t want to wear heels because I don’t want to sink into the ground. ALSO, I hate heels. A lot. Finding dress shoes that are white or silver or purple and aren’t heels and look cute? Not so much, and again with the making me feel like I’m high maintenance.

I know on one level I’m really not, because I’m basically rolling with whatever our venue gives us in terms of chairs and tables and not really giving a crap if everything matches. We can’t attach anything to the walls of the reception hall, but it has beautiful exposed beams and tons of sun, so it’ll sparkle and be beautiful no matter what. We’re having tiny centerpieces (one or two blossoms in a bud vase) because I want everyone to be able to talk to each other across the tables. And we’re poor, but mostly because I want people to talk to each other and big centerpieces get in the way.

One thing that I’ve been blown away by is how many people keep offering to help. I haven’t really nailed down all the things that we need help with yet, but there will be lots of getting aunts and uncles and cousins and friends to carry things and set up. We’re doing a terribly old-fashioned “it takes a village” sort of wedding, because we’re broke, and also because it means so much more to us to have our friends and family help us out and be involved than to pay someone we don’t know lots of money to make stuff happen. These are the people who have made us who we are, and who will be supporting us in our life together after we’re married, it makes sense to have them help us start our life together as well.

I have a blurry vision of what I want to have happen, and it’s very slowly resolving itself into an actual picture. Jarak has almost finished our registry page. We’re not registering anywhere officially because what we want is from all over, and we want people to buy local to them, or to us, and to support small businesses wherever they can. The registry is to help ensure we don’t end up  with 5 waffle irons, and to help us remember who gave us what so that we can send thank-you cards. Jarak learned PHP to make it work, and it looks awesome. Hooray geeky fiances.

The other big challenge is creating our wedding playlist. We’re doing the iPod DJ thing, because it just seems simpler (and is infinitely cheaper). I plan on handing my iPod off to our Twitch who’s lending us his PA system and telling him to only let Jarak and I touch the iPod upon pain of body slam (he’s a martial artist, and a Strongman guy, and used to play in a band. He rules.) We’re dividing the playlist up into three sections: ceremony (if we can’t find anyone to play live) cocktails/lunchtime music (Old Jazz standards) and dancing at the end.

We’re designing the invitations this week, and will hopefully have them printed and ready to send out by the beginning of April. We got a rubber stamp made of our family crest, which is really cool, and will be going on the back of all of the invites, and probably all envelopes we send out from here on out.

So yeah, details! Ack! Married people send me your “how to survive the last few months” advice please!

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